9 weeks

It's offical:  My zoloft was making my nausea like 10 times worse than Ryan, and I thought it was bad with Ryan.  I pretty much was unable to function by the end of the day.  So, I saw my doc and we started the weaning process.  And during the weaning process was really when I learned how bad my nausea was from zoloft.   So, I pretty much have just stopped taking it.  I mean, if I start getting nutty again, I will probably take half a pill a day, but I am thinking that I will be ok.

The symptoms this time are very strange and DIFFERENT!   I know that they say every pregnancy is different, but it's really true.   The first two:  nothing, not sick, not anything.  And, we know how those ended.  Ryan:  very sick from like 7 weeks until about 11 or 12.  This one:  sick almost right away -- like 6 weeks through present.  But, it's different.  Like, I want to eat, but I have that sour stomach feeling all the time.  So, I end up eating a lot of things during the day to make it go away.  So, far, I have been pretty healthy about it, but the past couple days, artichoke dip cravings have raised their head (which, frankly, is really a craving for eating cream cheese.  I would eat that stuff straight up...and I do sometimes).  So, I indulge.   I swear, once I am past hearing the heartbeat and seeing my little bean on the ultrasound screen, I will try to exercise.  Promise!

But, overall, everything was earlier than with Ryan and stronger, for lack of a better term.   Maybe it's a girl.   Who knows!

Second doc appt on Thursday -- we are trying to hear the h/b through my tummy again (which it's too early and I'm too large and in charge in the stomach area) and I think then he will give me orders for an ultrasound, just to check dates.   And if not, then I will request one.  I'm not waiting for 20 weeks.   I also have plans to ask about growth checks with this one.   Ryan was so tiny, I'm just wary of having a second tiny tot.  I think he was starving.
And frankly, if he blows me off about it, or doesn't seem all that concerned, I will probably be transferring my care or at least getting a second opinion.  He seems to blow off my concerns sometimes.   Plus, I get tired of having to drive hither and yon for my tests.  I'd rather just go to WAM and have a one stop shop.

Yeah, yeah, I know:  I've said it before.   The trouble I have walking away is because he is a really excellent surgeon.  And when you are doing c section two, I would prefer the OB who is an excellent surgeon.  So, I talk a big game, but when it really comes down to it, he does have a lot of experience with these things and probably knows best.   And he knows when to just listen to me and let me come in for a NST when I'm a week overdue and having weird ass contractions/early labor.  Esp when my child fails said NST.  and then he's delivered.

So, all in all, I'm feeling slightly better, I'm still really tired all the time, and I still have the usually preggo symptoms.   Tally ho!